August 12, 2008 | Mama Smith

we didn't fly to mexico...

...although we really, really wanted to.

With our kiddos safe in the care of my parents this weekend and the blissful freedom of being alone together taking us back to our dating days, it was very hard to not “miss” the turn back to Greenville on Sunday and head to the Charlotte airport “by accident” instead.

We love those two boys something fierce, but we simultaneously love the restoration and healing that comes to our marriage when we have some time away from the demands of raising young children.

We also love driving to Asheville on a cool 75 degree Saturday morning with the windows down listening to Bon Iver, revisiting the funky bookstore we ran across in Asheville the day before we were engaged, laughing over fried green tomato eggs benedict together without picking up a dropped sippy cup for the 100th time, hiking straight up a mountain (unbeknownest to us) with no water only to discover an amazing waterfall (which yes, we gulped water out of), laying on that warm rock at the bottom of the falls talking about life and where our hearts have been lately, taking a looong afternoon nap uninterrupted, getting showered and dolled up without shoeing kids away from the shower curtain or having them test out my makeup, enjoying a lazy dinner over a platter of cheeses, meats and wines, and the best, by far…sleeping in until we felt like getting up.

I miss Matthew when life has me running around so frantic and crazed that I wonder who that man is in my way as I’m blearily trying to brush my teeth and fall into bed to start the race all over again in the morning.

I really need him. I need his passion for life. I need his tenderness for people. I need his willingness to pursue when all doors seem shut. I need him to call me out of where my lazy flesh wants to stay, into the beautiful place Christ has for me as his daughter…even if that means I am going to get really, really pissed off at him for doing so. My lazy ass flesh does NOT like to change. And will fight to the death to be left alone. Thankfully, Matthew fights harder for me to become the women Christ designed me to be.

Last week started horribly and ended with a beautiful, restful redemption. Just a small picture for me of how it’s going to be some day. And hopefully a reminder for me when it all goes downhill again.

We did arrive home to a vomiting child (Levi) and one who still to this day is having explosive poo from those adult-sized portions of laxatives. So, Welcome Home to us. After round 6 of vomit, I was kicking myself for not catching that plane to Mexico afterall.

Thank you Mom & Dad for watching the boys. And taking the risk that you just might be stuck with them for a few 100 more days than you bargained for :)