January 8, 2007 | Mama Smith

two requests

We have, for some reason, been bombarded with phone solicitors which is extra annoying because I had put our phone number on the National Do Not Call Registry over a year ago. Ah well, what can you do.

I’ve always had dreams of doing something as brave as this. I think Matthew could actually pull it off. We’ll let you know if it ever works, but until then, first request: you have to listen to this. Unlike a lot of these things, this one really happened. I was laughing so hard, I had tears in my eyes. Disclaimer: The last bit is a little over the top on the crass radar, so feel free to stop it when you like. I just had to share it, for the first part if nothing else :)

Second request, you’ve got to check out my cousin, Natalee’s blog. These days especially, I’m totally vibing with her thoughts on life. I’ve been really wrestling this weekend with this whole call to motherhood thing. Matthew and I talked about it for awhile on Saturday night before I happened upon Natalee’s recently-started musings on the topic.

I’ve often wondered if I missed out on the full dose of mommy-genes that God seemingly tanked up in other moms. My patience seems so much lower, my grace so much more pathetic, and my daily stamina so puny compared to, at least the appearance of, other fully functioning stay-at-home-mom lives. Some days I find myself wanting to crawl back into bed for the rest of the day at a mere 10am because one small, helpless creature is sapping me of every last ounce of energy and patience.

I often think there is something more exciting, adventurous and rewarding out there that I’m missing out on by puttering around our home day in and day out.

This is a seriously warped view.

Matthew has been calling me out on this and urging me to wrestle with Christ about what this calling He’s offered me at this stage in my life means. I am no longer Amy the Operations Analyst at First Equity Card that I was up until Brighton was 5 months old. Nor am I Amy the support-raising missionary to Ireland that I was when Matthew and I met. Those two things seemed so much more exciting and revered. And I’m realizing that there is some repenting that needs to take place for this twisted desire of mine to be praised and daily commended for my work, or my skills, or my sacrifice.

Brighton has no clue of the sacrifices made for him. He’ll never be able to fully understand. I’ll never fully understand the sacrifices my own mom made. But is that a prerequisite for being asked to lay down our lives by Christ? That we are admired, praised and lifted up because of that sacrifice? I know the right answer, but it doesn’t make my heart change and truly want some recognition for all this day in and day out changing of diapers, making breakfast/lunch/dinner into bit size pieces over and over, learning to discipline a now temper-tantruming toddler.

That’s where the wrestling with Christ comes in, asking for brokeness and belief that not only is this opportunity to partner with Him in raising a little soul for his glory so much more exciting and adventurous than I’ll ever understand, but even more importantly that He truly is more beautiful than any of these things in life that I think will make me feel better. Whether that’s freedom from motherhood some days or freedom from relating to people that annoy me other days or freedom from having to sacrifice for Matthew on days I just want him to sacrifice for me. There’s always something that tempts me to think “If just…” instead of “Christ you are more beautiful than ALL these things”.

And finally, third request, no I didn’t prepare you for that in the title above, but circumstances occuring while I have been writing this demand it. HOW DO YOU GET RID OF MICE?!? Since I’ve been sitting here writing, I’ve almost gone into labor screaming over a mouse that darted under the bed I was sitting on, practically caused Matthew to have a heart attack screaming over the second mouse falling from the sweatshirts stacked at the top of his closet and woken up Brighton screaming over the third mouse in 20 minutes darting across our bedroom floor. What the heck?! It’s not even cold outside. Why are they overtaking our room?! Funny thing is we just bought those plug-in mouse sirens that are supposed to make them flee. Those are going back to the store tomorrow. I swear the first mouse that darted under my bed was sitting next to that plug-in grooming itself for a few minutes before dashing off.

With a toddler in the house, poison is probably out of the question…and snap-traps?? I can just see the horror scene now upon Brighton discovering one of those. Sticky traps force you to pick up a squeaking, panicked mouse and do away with it yourself (of which me and old Philly roomates had all too much practice in…bring back memories, Mar??). What else is there to do? Help!

Yuck, I don’t even want to go to sleep tonight. Lucky for us, we’ve just finished downloading the first four leaked episodes of the sixth season 24 that wasn’t supposed to come out until this weekend. We may just have to stay up and watch those after all.