April 1, 2009 | Mama Smith

ring the bells

It was a pretty amazing 29th birthday yesterday. But it all started the night before when Matthew couldn’t contain his excitement and had to share with me a birthday gift he had bartered for and commissioned an artist friend of ours and former WHM colleague of mine to do.

A 30“x40” painting that blew. me. away. The close-up can be seen on Jeremy Phillips blog by clicking on the painting. His work is truly amazing. This piece was so much more to me than just being aesthetically pleasing, for a whole host of reasons of which I’ll try to briefly explain.

The phrase “ring the bells” comes from a Leonard Cohen song my mom shared with me years ago:

Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering,
There is a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in.

After a wild 5 years of marriage, parenthood, and lots of transitions the whole concept of “ringing the bells” and rejoicing in the midst of struggle has often elluded me. Wanting to mark myself with that truth and promise I had decided awhile ago to get a tattoo reading “ring the bells” on my right wrist, the one we make pledges with and vows on.

During my trip to Kansas City a few weeks ago, I began to reclaim that phrase and ask Christ for “a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair” (Is. 61:3) that I felt had been hanging over me since B’s birth. My mom prayed this phrase over me one night. While unknowingly to us, back in Greenville, Matthew was working with Jeremy on creating a tangible piece of that promise to hang in our home.

Jeremy described the layers to us, with the first consisting of pages from the Bible where bells are used in worship (Ex.23:33-35, 39:25-26, Zech.14:20), children’s drawings of bells, photocopies of bells, pages from a children’s story Bong Nam and the Pheasants, and sheet music & printed words of “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day”.

The second layer is a labyrinth in the shape of a bell, a representation of labyrinths monks would walk through to meditate. A reminder for me to meditate on that phrase of ringing the bells and bringing it into our lives/home. The third layer is a cover of yellow and gold boxes. The fourth layer consists of the ink transferred words, “Ring the Bells”. And the fifth layer is the labyrinth again.

Which is why I just was so blown away. Not only is this painting beautiful, intricate, and unique. The meaning it holds for Matthew and I at this season is our lives is so powerful. Christ has been waking up my dead heart and dressing me in a new way with a garment of praise. There couldn’t have been a more perfect gift for me in this season of my life. And Christ knew that, orchestrating all these people I love to remind me of that hope. And the truth that life is seriously fallen and hard. But He is worth engaging with. He actually enjoys me in my broken state. And through that broken state, He can shine through more brilliantly. Which is actually a pretty freeing thing, from my perspective.

Yesterday, Matthew and I drove to Asheville to Empire Tattoo to fulfill the second part of my birthday gift.

Emily asked what I’d think of it when I was 80 years old. By that point everything on my body will be marked with age, but I think I’ll see those words and remember this sweet season in my life, these people I love who may or may not be with me still, and have excitement for being that much closer to actually seeing Jesus face and being done with the pain and “cracked” aspect of life. It was fun to wake up this morning and see my hand resting on my pillow with that promise resting next to me.