September 3, 2008 | Mama Smith

newborness

We thought we had escaped it, but the past few nights have proven us wrong. Levi has been unable to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time due to some bizarre illness and a rash that has taken over his body. He was a dream sleeper as a newborn, so this is the worst it’s ever been with him. Another plus mark on the side for not having any more kids. Neither of us functions well on this no-sleep-schedule.

Speaking of the no-sleep-schedule, I failed to mention the luxurious three-days/two-nights adventure I spent alone with the kiddos and our sick, sick dog a little bit ago. While Matthew escaped to our friend’s gorgeous Asheville cabin with a hoard of his friends to celebrate his turning 30. Was this really my idea for his birthday?!?

Of course the dog comes down with a virus the day Matthew leaves. Of course she has explosive, uncontrollable diarrhea every 20-30 minutes. Day and night. Of course this involves a previously housetrained dog to use our bedroom as her dumping zone. Of course I am drug out of bed cursing every half hour through both nights to let out the sick, sick dog to explode all over our backyard. Of course I rise at 6am with plastic bags to scoop up the dozens of explosive foulness piles and hose down entire backyard before the boys rise and go stomping through it. Of course all this happens within the three days Matthew is gone. And of course the dog is fully recovered and sleeping through the night again the evening Matthew returns. That’s just the irony of it all. The kids go back to normal. The dog goes back to normal. The husband secretly thinks his weiny wife must be exaggerating just how bad things were.

Thankfully I had the girls to bond together with. Both of their husbands were also off on the 30th Birthday Extravaganza. This is how us women cope with being left alone with 9 kids…

#1. Prepare amazing Jaime Oliver meal.

#2. Feed kids not-so-amazing macaroni.

#3. Place kids in front of tv. All 9 of them.

#4. Run back to kitchen and begin profusely drinking. Water, of course. Riiiight. And a glass or two of wine while drooling over almost completed amazing meal and scarfing down fresh-from-the-oven warm bread.

#5. Tell adorable children that have attempted to start playing in the room next to us to quit being so creative and go watch more tv.

#6. Sit down to our feast.

Laughing and eating and drinking and being thankful for friends to navigate the craziness of life and motherhood and wifehood with.

Still trying to figure out my new photo app on this computer. But I secretly hate it and think I’m going to ditch it for my old love, iView. Sorry for the horrid grainy shots. You can thank the evil new photo app for that.