May 16, 2007 | Mama Smith

beer-stained napkin

The Blue Comet. A total dive we used to frequent pre-kiddos. We’d meet there after work and enjoy the free wings and dollar drafts. We haven’t been back together since Brighton arrived. The smoke cloud that envelopes you on the other side of the door would kill him.

Tonight as Matthew sat on those same rubber stools waiting for his friends, he wrote this:

It may seem simple to some, but it meant the world to me this evening. I have been a worn out, cranky mess lately. Not feeling very enjoyable or worth being liked. Matthew has been loving the crud out of me. Literally. I could feel like the most haggard, irritable witch one moment and then like the sexiest, most intriguing woman the next after Matthew’s gotten ahold of me. We have our junk as a couple – if you’re around us for more than a few hours, that’ll be obvious – but God’s blessed us with a sweet friendship in each other that keeps me sane on these brain-frying days. No, that’s not a tear stain bottom right, just a beer stain. He’s not that sentimental.

As for the rest of my thoughts throughout the day, read on. I had been working on the following blog throughout the day, that I ended up revamping and adding the above to this evening…

A snapshot of life these days. Captured one wild afternoon. You know things are bad when you’re eating pinto beans straight out of the can for lunch.

Brighton, on the other hand, received a lovingly prepared quesadilla. With smashed pintos, freshly grated cheese and sprinkled with cilantro. By the time he was fed and in bed, Levi was stirring prematurely from his nap, resulting in a fierce protest against any attempt to usher him back to sleep. Their timing is impecible.

“Lunch” (aka: cold, hard pinto beans) was scarfed between my 5 minute increments of checking on Levi, cleaning up the kitchen, and trying to tie up the loose ends with our bank in Colorado, obtaining our car title so we can finish our sale of it this weekend.

Lately it’s felt as if the fast-forward button on the vcr of our life is stuck. The days seem to be flying by and full of all too much activity for me to keep up with. Most days I feel totally worn out. I don’t have energy for much. Laundry, cooking, relating, blogging, sewing. It all just seems to be a fond memory of things that I used to actually enjoy. I know. It’s just a season, they say. But I’m ready to be me again.

A few changes about to occur in our househould have been the main catalyst for this racing-around feeling, which we can share a little more about later. Other than that, we’re battling another round of illness in our home, which is always draining, and feels never ending. Levi’s ears are feeling better, as far as we can tell, but B was down for the count today with a fever of 102. I spoiled him by letting him watch an actual t.v. show, called Bob the Builder. He was in heaven. As sick as he was, he still managed to yell “Woah, BIG trucks! Dig, dig, DIRT” over and over. And eat a few slices of watermelon during the fun.

And just because we felt like there wasn’t enough going on already, we decided to toss in purchasing a new vehicle and selling our Subaru. Perfect timing, huh. We had a hard core buyer who did a VERY thorough job examining the vehicle. Check it out. Hydraulic jack and all.

Matthew captured them inspecting the underbelly. Who DOES this?! We thought it was a bit humorous, but hey, we passed with flying colors and he took our price without a fight.

We’re now enjoying the luxury of a larger, higher vehicle, and being able to just toss our kiddos in their carseats. Instead of contorting our bodies bending them into the tiny Subaru, banging their heads and moving the front seats around every time we got them in and out. And Matthew is of course glowing with pride over being able to drive a Toyota again, even if it is a 4Runner, not his beloved truck.

And because you don’t read this blog to check out random men’s legs, here are a few more shots of B, pre-sickness, enjoying life.

Laughing at Levi at the other end of his new garage-sale’d tunnel

Check out that finger form, Dad! Plucking his new “mandolin” we made. He was enthralled with the bluegrass band we ran across in VA and has been strumming every long object he finds. It was time to make him the real deal…poor-family-style.

Levi will return to the photo world once he wakes up from sleeping off this sickness. No complaints here. Post Mother’s Day he slept from 9pm to 6am. I did get my Mother’s Day gift after all, just a day late.