July 7, 2008 | Papa Smith

Aslan and aslan.

Amy and I had a great second weekend in our new home. There are three things I remember most about our weekend.

A great talk with Amy before the boys woke up on Sunday Morning

Amy and I had one of the best talks we’ve had in a long time on Sunday. It was honest, restful, and had more listening happening than most of our talks.

A superb time with David, Sharon, and Kat Hall, and Kevin and Emily Smith.

Enormous burgers stuffed with feta cheese (Thank you Hines Family) filled us all up. We had fantastic conversation with people who are easy to be around. It was truly restful.

Waking up at 12:30am to a crying Brighton, in Levi’s crib, having thrown up all over the crib and down on the floor.

An angry hour of frustration as I cleaned puke out of the carpet, and tried to tame my anger by remembering how scary it was to be sick as a child.

These are two images of Jesus as reflected in the character of Aslan

The first image of is how I felt on Sunday morning. The second image is how I felt last night and again this morning.

The first I would trust with my life and would love to go on to a dramatic battle with. I would fight and die hard with. The second is how I feel when I can’t imagine how God could possibly be effective against evil (or my ridiculously fickle devotion) when he’s only a baby lion fighting the darkness.

Something that I’m realizing now more than ever, is that I love the heroic plots like Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia so much because the events of only a few weeks or months can radically alter people’s hearts.

If you’ve ever read the Chronicles of Narnia, you’ll remember the book The Voyage of the Dawn Treader where the stubborn and rude hearted character of Eustace Scrubb is turned into a dragon on an island where the group is shipwrecked. The change in him is both real and metaphorical – representing what has been boiling in his mind and heart all along. He now sees himself outwardly what other’s have always known about him.

Eustace is unable to change back into a boy despite his greatest efforts

and finds after several hours that he is incapable of change. In walks Aslan, and after a few minutes of excruciatingly painful ripping and tearing of dragon flesh, Eustace has been returned to a boy, and what’s more, he’s got a changed heart. The lesson sticks and he is a fine character thereafter.

I want a plot like that in my life.

Not for God’s Glory. But for the expedience of the thing. I’m going through change in my life, absolutely. Anyone who knew me five years ago before I got married, often comments on the change they see in me. I am more relaxed, less intense, a better listener, more handsome… (okay, maybe not more handsome). The problem with these changes is that they take 5, 10, 15 years to effect.

God could change me overnight! Why doesn’t he?

Because I wouldn’t believe it, and it wouldn’t stick. That’s the part that makes me cuss like a sailor! I hate that this stuff takes such hard hard work, and over such a long period of time. When its all said and done, I’m not going to be a sinless person until I can shed the burdens of life and party with Jesus in the new earth. I will always be asking my man-friends for guidance, for a hand up, for forgiveness. I will always need to apologize and make amends to my dear wife who shoulder’s the effects of my sin more than anyone else. I will always need to hug my boys and ask for forgiveness for my anger.

If God’s Grace grows in me still

I will pre-repent before I shame someone with my wit. I will pre-repent before I sink into a hole when someone I respect feels I made a poor decision. I will pre-repent before I trust anything accept the surpassing love of Jesus. There’s hope in that.